{"id":338,"date":"2008-11-05T14:36:41","date_gmt":"2008-11-05T12:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/?p=338"},"modified":"2008-11-05T14:41:07","modified_gmt":"2008-11-05T12:41:07","slug":"joke-call-centre-excelent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/joke-call-centre-excelent\/","title":{"rendered":"Joke: Call Centre – Excelent"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he\/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause’. <\/p>\n

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘What sort of trouble??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Went away?’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘They disappeared.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Hmm So what does your screen look like now?’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘Nothing.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Nothing??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘How do I tell?’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘What’s a monitor?’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘Yes, I think so.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall. <\/p>\n

Caller:              ‘Yes, it is.’<\/p>\n

Operator:         ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’<\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘No.’<\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’ <\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’<\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’ <\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’<\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??’<\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘No.’<\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’<\/p>\n

Operator:          ‘Dark??’<\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:           ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’<\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘I can’t.’<\/p>\n

Operator:           ‘No? Why not??’<\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘Because there’s a power failure.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:           ‘A power……… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
                          Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??’ <\/p>\n

Caller:               ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’ <\/p>\n

Operator:           ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’<\/p>\n

Caller:                ‘Really? Is it that bad?’ <\/p>\n

Operator:            ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’<\/p>\n

Caller:                 ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’<\/p>\n

Operator:            ‘Tell them you’re too f<\/span><\/font><\/b>—<\/span><\/font><\/b>ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!’<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed Continue reading Joke: Call Centre – Excelent<\/span>→<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amazonpipp_noncename":"","amazon-product-isactive":"","amazon-product-single-asin":"","amazon-product-content-location":"","amazon-product-content-hook-override":"","amazon-product-excerpt-hook-override":"","amazon-product-singular-only":"","amazon-product-amazon-desc":"","amazon-product-show-gallery":"","amazon-product-show-features":"","amazon-product-newwindow":"","amazon-product-show-list-price":"","amazon-product-show-used-price":"","amazon-product-show-saved-amt":"","amazon-product-timestamp":"","amazon-product-new-title":"","amazon-product-use-cartURL":"","amazon_featured_post_meta_key":"","_amazon_featured_alt":"","amazon-product-template":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[264,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","category-nothing-about-something"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=338"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":340,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions\/340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.henriska.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}